The Long and ‘Short’ of It

Admit it, you sometimes get the feeling that you’re too cool for your own good, and vastly underappreciated for it (I think this happens to all of us). I’ve experienced frustration at my own positively prophetic taste at least three times in recent years.

1) When the song “Paper Planes” by M.I.A, my ringback tone since last August, suddenly became incredibly popular this past spring, after I had spent months enduring boneheaded questions like “Why does that weird Bollywood-sounding music start to play whenever I call you?”

2) When high-school gals all across the great U.S. of A. started proclaiming their love for Michael Cera following the successes of Superbad and Juno. Yes, I joined the facebook group “I’d let Michael Cera get me pregnant any day,” but I wasn’t happy about it. Where were all these screaming tweens when the brilliant “Arrested Development” was getting canceled due to low ratings?

3) When shorts went from relative obscurity to being splashed across the runways a few springs ago. Suddenly every major women’s magazine was extolling the versatility of the trend – “Wear them to the ballgame with a cute tee, or to the club with a sexy chiffon blouse!” To which my seething reply was always, “Well, yeah. Tell me something I don’t know.”

You see, back in the day when the offerings in the shorts department were essentially limited to matronly khakis from J. Crew or sloppy D.I.Y. cutoffs, I was something of a conscientuous objector, searching far and wide for the rare pair that was chic and fashion-forward. I have always considered my legs to be my best feature, and nothing highlights them quite like this classic summer staple.

Of course, once I got over the fact that the fashion industry had seemingly annexed my personal style, I was grateful to discover that, for the first time, there were so many great options available. As a tall girl, I avoid anything that is expressly labeled “hotpant,” because my thighs are so long that, even in a modest cut, I wind up flashing a lot of skin. Therefore, to maintain some sense of propriety (particularly in the daytime), you can’t go wrong in a cuffed short with an easier fit, like the loose, linen styles that have been omnipresent this summer. I have a feeling I’d wear these Theorys pretty much every day. I also like the relaxed look of Bebe’s offering in black twill.

However, if you’ve got the goods and are still set on showing a lot of leg in “hoochie shorts,” at least keep the look PG-13 by opting for a pair in, ahem, angelic white. These fun, blinged-out Matthew Williamsons are currently marked down about 50%.