Turning Japanese

Let me tell you a story about a very special dress. We first met at Bendel’s in September of 2004. Uncharacteristically, I was armed with a flush checking account – alas, if only I could graduate every spring – and ready to buy. I left the store excited about my purchase, but certainly not aware that I had just embarked on a lifelong love affair with kimono sleeves (more on that later).

Mizz Von F herself, wearing a variation of my dress at her Fall 2004 show

Four years have passed, and my dress has lived the kind of life that most of the other clothes in my closet can only dream about. It’s been to jazz clubs, school dances, birthday parties, and at least one European discotheque. It’s also been on many a SoHo shopping date with my favorite jeans, and things have gotten serious between the two of them. Whenever I put it on, no matter how tired/bloated/antisocial I might have been  just a few minutes earlier, I instantly feel sexy, confident, and ready to take on the world. (And to those who think fashion is frivolous, I ask: isn’t there REAL value in anything that can make someone feel that way?)

Unfortunately, my story has a bittersweet ending – Frost’s sentiment that “nothing gold can stay” can be applied not only to springtime and Edenic paradise, but also to 100% silk garments. A half-dozen trips to the tailor have prolonged the life of my dress, but with each new patch I feel it weakening. Soon it’s going to be time to say goodbye and mourn the loss of such a valued member of my wardrobe. In the meantime, I’ve been desperately scouring the new generation of bold-sleeved tops and dresses to fill the gap.

Top contenders are this rich, grownup hippie look from DKNY, this racy but sweet off-the-shoulder number from Geren Ford, and this simple but elegant jersey dress from saint grace. I’m also obsessed with this peacock jacket from last season’s Elizabeth and James collection, but I got greedy waiting for the sale prices to drop and it’s sold out everywhere now. Not surprising that the Olsens often incorporate this sort of dramatic look into their line, seeing as Mary-Kate is one of the kimono sleeve’s staunchest advocates. No one loves M.-K. O. more than I do (seriously, NO ONE DOES), and with this particular trend, sometimes she totally rocks it. But other times … well, let’s just say that only someone over 5′10” could wear that without looking like a pygmy. Another victory for the tall girls!

On a completely unrelated note: tell me these are not the ugliest shoes you’ve ever seen. Seriously, I know “Fit Flops” are all the rage right now, but if the choice is between hanging on to my cellulite and wearing those sins against shoe-manity, I’ll stick with the former. Although, they’re so morbidly fascinating that I can’t stop looking at them, so I guess that counts for something.